Burial – Rival Dealer
by Rev. Dick Tucker
Moments in Rival Dealer almost stand up to Burial’s best work. The rest plays like an obscure Christmas record. While better than being stuck listening to Slade in a queue for the latest Playstation, it is important to remember that so is having one’s nuts savaged by a rabid jackal.
(1) Sheets of acid rain descend from malevolent clouds. Panicked beasts sprint from pursuing hellfire. When it is all over, the dead ascend towards the afterlife. (2) Burial goes through to the next round on The X-Factor. Two and a half minutes later he finds himself in the eighties. Later, the studio lights shut off leaving a contestant in misery. (3) The Middle East, the ghostly cold. Curtains of beads tingling in the wind. A boy ecstatic to discover that Santa has left him an auto-tuner.